Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Day 5

In my ever increasing exposure to sites, blogs, and FB pages about Down Syndrome, I've come across some amazing things.  Some things I've read, I have to say, I don't necessarily agree with.  I don't think I was "chosen" for Tera or that she was "given" to us.  She was created by us and by luck of the statistics, she ended up with 47 chromosomes.  Do I think we handled it better than some other people on this earth could have? Possibly.  But I also don't think anyone knows what they're capable of until they're put in that situation.  I don't think she was lucky to have been born with Down Syndrome or that we were lucky that she was. But I don't think we're unlucky because of it either.  We have an amazing daughter who makes us smile, laugh, and love life in ways we never thought we could and we've met some truly amazing parents and kids that we might never have had the chance to know.  But if given the choice to have her born with it or without it, I can't say that I would choose the difficulties I know we've experienced or the ones I imagine we will in the future.  I know other parents may not agree with me, and maybe when she's older I'll feel differently, but after only 7 months, yes, I wish it was easier. 

However, there are far more pieces I've read that seem to be taken right from my head and my heart.  One of those articles is one I've posted the link to on her FB page, but I'll include it again here. http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/03/has-down-syndrome-hurt-us/
In this mom's blog, she talks about how she finally shared her birth experience with her daughter who has Down Syndrome.

There are not many days that go by that I don't think about the day she was born and all the events and days that followed and I've often thought about when she's old enough to ask, how I will share with her how that day unfolded.  In fact, I spent so many days in the months following her birth, thinking about that day, that I have written about all the details of that day and the days after in a form that is written to Tera for when she's older.  As I included all the details about when the doctor came in and told us how he suspected Tera had DS and the conversation we had with him, I've wondered if I would ever really feel ready to share it with her, or if I'll just reread it myself in the coming years.  I've also wondered, because at this point I really don't know, how much of it she'll understand. One of the hardest parts I've had to deal with since her diagnosis is the unknown factor of what she'll be able to do.  I don't ever want to think about what she won't be able to do, because so far, she's been able to do anything and everything.  She hasn't reached every milestone yet of course, but there's been nothing to indicate that she won't at some point and when the day and time comes that she is cognizant of the situation, that is exactly what we'll tell her.  When we'd finally had some time to come to grips with what the doctor had shared with us, in typical fashion, Tom and I turned to humor.  We said that our dream of her becoming an all star female goalie wouldn't necessarily change, but that we were unsure that hockey existed in the Special Olympics.  Then we just said she could be the pioneer of the sport!

I feel like I've digressed a few times here, but really each digression was where my thought process was leading so I guess it is what it is.  So read the link; it's wonderful and honest and I agree whole-heartedly with this one.

1 comment:

  1. I believe she could pioneer the sport! Maybe Evan will too! We are big hockey fans here (we were spoiled with our Bruins this year)! Email me at deborah.jordan@live.com to participate in the blogger showcase! -Deb

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