Monday, December 5, 2011

Day 5

So when I woke up this morning I thought to myself, I just need to make it through the next two weeks.  And then on my way to work I had two realizations.  One, is if I want to make it through the next two weeks, I can't look at the situation the way I currently am.  Two, was the realization as to why I'm looking at my job the way I am lately and why I wish I was more excited to go to work each day and it's this: every day is a fight.  I'm not talking about fist fights, though we do have our share of those.  I'm talking about the fight to get them to do their homework, the fight to get them to stop talking, the fight to get them to pay attention, the fight to get them to do their homework, the fight to get them to study for a test, the fight to get them to understand the material, and the hardest one, the fight to get them to care. 

I understand that my lamenting the next the two weeks may fall upon deaf ears if you're not an educator who has the luxury of getting off an extended amount of time around the holidays.  I understand all too well how much it sucks to not have that time off because I'm the only one in my family (one of a few in Tom's family) who is a teacher, everyone else has to work most of that time.  So I'm not saying that I don't understand how you too may be counting down the days until whatever time you may have off (or none at all) finally comes.  But what I am saying is it's really hard to stay positive about your career when it's all about fighting.  I think it may have taken me 10 years to really nail down what it is that wears me down around this time of year and it's because I've just spent the past 4 months fighting with around 180 teenagers 5 days a week. 

I do definitely have some perks (and I'm not talking about the time off because as I will say over and over again, while it's nice to have summers and holidays off, it's not why I do my job).  The number one perk is probably having my former students come back and visit around this time of year.  Many times, the first semester or year at college reminds students about the relationships they formed in high school with teachers that they probably don't have their freshmen year in college.  I've had two fabulous advisories in the past 8 years and the relationship I have with many of those kids is unlike anything I thought could happen in teaching and is the one thing that keeps me hanging on sometimes. 

So I will maintain the witty motto I established at the beginning of this year "Positive, not peppy, but positive" and look forward to seeing those familiar faces.  And then of course, I have two of my other favorite faces to look at when I get home.  Because let me tell you, 10 minutes with my Stink when I got home erased much of my doubt from the day. 

Daddy and Daughter sporting their Pantera shirts...

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