Friday, January 6, 2012

And then wham! It hit me again...

I've been sitting here for probably almost 20 minutes trying to decide what to write about.  It's not that I'm lacking in ideas, it's just that I don't know what I have the most energy to write about. 

I just don't have it in me to write about the strike.  It's just that it consumes most of my day the past few days and it makes me sad and angry and proud and it's just too many emotions all at once.  But for anyone reading this, know that we have a truly amazing negotiation team working for us tirelessly and giving up time to sleep, eat, and be with their families and I am forever grateful to them.

So I'll share an unexpectedly emotional moment from last night.  I was watching a rerun of my favorite show, "Bones".  I had already watched an episode where two of the characters are waiting for test results to find out if their unborn child might be born blind.  That was emotional enough.  But then the next episode I watched was the one where Angela actually goes into labor and has the baby.  They tell the doctor they want to know right away if he's blind and after a moment, the doctor hands the baby over and says he's perfectly healthy and not blind.  It just sent me right back to when Tera was born and how amazing it was to know she was finally with us and hear her cry and actually hold her.  It was one of the most amazing moments of my life.  But then to find out an hour later that she was not in fact as perfect as we thought she was (turns out she's even more perfect!), made me feel like my heart was physically breaking inside me. 

This was just an experience that reminded me that I'm still susceptible to those little moments that take you by surprise in all the wrong ways.  But then when I walked into her room this morning and saw that beautiful smiling face, I forgot all about it again.  She is the happiest damn kid in the morning and it really kind of makes you forget that you're up that early and no matter how tired I am, I never get tired of seeing her face. 

She's made pretty big strides this week, working constantly on her army crawl and insanely determined to get to whatever it is her little eyes are set on.  She's so purposeful in her movements and highly motivated by whatever she's playing with.  We're also working on her being able to drink from a straw as her bottle experiences are taking years off Tom's and my lives.  She just has little to no interest in them much of the time and we still have 2 more months of her needing to take formula somehow.  Today instead of trying the bottle at all for her afternoon bottle, I only used her straw cup and she was able to get down 5 out of 6 oz! This will probably be our project for the weekend. 

I'm constantly encouraged by her progress and constantly amazed at her tenacity (some people would call it stubbornness).  She's determined, driven, and getting to be just a little feisty! I am loving watching her develop a personality and be able to mimic us.  I can't wait to see what she can do next week. 

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