Monday, January 9, 2012

I'm a parent? When did that happen?

Day 3 of the strike and negotiations continue.  Word on the street (literally pretty much on the street as we picket there) is that progress is being made and everyone seems pretty positive.  One of the more stressful parts of the situation though, and there are many, is that I'm currently uninsured.  This was a daunting scenario for the first few days, made worse by the fact that Tera is scheduled to get her tubes put in on January 18.  We have a few different options, but because we don't know how long this can/will last, it's hard to make any decisions.  We thought we were maybe going to be free and clear, but then this morning Tera just wasn't herself and felt a little warm.  I took her to school, let her teacher know, and headed up to join the picket lines.  Sure enough I got a phone call a few hours later saying she was running a fever of 101. 

I picked her up, got her home and snuggled with her while she took her bottle.  She was definitely not herself and went down for what ended up being a two hour nap.  I'm still not sure what the problem is, but she's down for the night and we'll see what happens in the morning.

There are two seemingly positive aspects to all of this.  One, I know I can trust my instincts.  If you are reading this as a parent, do you remember the first time it occurred to you that you might actually know what you're doing? I knew yesterday when Tera didn't eat all of her dinner, that something wasn't quite right.  She woke up pretty normal, drank her whole bottle, and then played for a little bit in bed with me.  But she felt warm and then when I put her in her crib to play for a bit, she was a little whiney and just wanted to be held.  I knew when I brought her to school that something was up and sure enough, I was dead on.  This is not in any way meant to say I'm more in tune with my kid than any other parent, but it's reassuring to me to know that I can trust myself.  As a first time parent, and still fairly new parent, it's nice to know I'm somewhat qualified for this gig. 

The other positive part of today was that I got some snuggle time with my girl.  She is a pretty good snuggler, but many times she's just too wiggly to lay down with either me or Tom and so even though it's because she's sick, I can still enjoy some extra special time with my baby and know that she is comforted by me holding her. 

I think one of the things I've come to realize as my favorite parts of being a mom, is being needed by her.  I know there will be days when she'll just want to be with me all the time and possibly whiney and it won't be quite as enjoyable, but at this point in her life she knows that no matter who is holding her or watching her, that I'm her mom and that she's safe with me and that is one truly amazing feeling.

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