Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A little too much

Oh my brain is a big jumbly mess right now.  I'm not sure I can even put together something coherent right now so bear with me. 

Number 1: I've refrained from saying anything at all on the topic of our strike.  I am a public school teacher and without going into all the details our Board of Education and Union negotiation team are currently meeting after no progress the past few months and if no agreement is reached tonight, I will officially be on strike tomorow.  I honestly can say, pretty much anytime I've heard about teachers striking, I've thought, "Wow, I'm glad that's not me." Guess I can't say that anymore.  This is an incredibly stressful situation for so many reasons, again, that I don't have the time or energy to explain, but basically it's a complete lack of knowing what's going to happen and what the aftermath will be.  It makes me question so many things about my life, my choices, and my options.  None of which I really have time to contemplate lately, but which constantly invade my thoughts and sleep.  I may elaborate on this later, but I'm running out of steam right now.

Number 2: As a result of Number 1 and the media, things get thrown around without the proper information and this experience should serve as a reminder to me always that the truth is most definitely not always what it seems to be and that I should always keep an open mind (easier said than done but I can add that to my list of resolutions that I don't like to make).  It bothers me to read things that insult my profession and ethics and values when a great majority of the time, the whole story is not seen.  I don't want this to sound cryptic but I'm trying to be general and still make my point.  I just spent a whole day fending off rumors from students that are based on things they've heard from other students, and sometimes even teachers, when no one really knows the answers yet.

And Number 3: That all of this is happening on the same day that we lost a student.  I didn't know the student but it doesn't matter.  Zion Benton is a big school, but it's not that big and a loss of anyone is felt everywhere.  It's really hard as a teacher to see your students struggling with loss and not being able to help them through it.  For some of them it's the first time someone close to them has died and for some of them it will be another in a long list of people they've lost.  We've unfortunately experienced this in our building too many times and there have definitely been past ones that I did know.  I can't imagine how the student body is coping with this all while losing the support structure some of them so dearly depend on. 

All right I'm done for now.  Here's a picture to hopefully bring some light to my post because right now I'm just a little overwhelmed.

This is from Easter if you're wondering why she looks so little, but it always makes me laugh...

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