Sunday, January 29, 2012

Reflections...

Today while making some notes for Tera's birthday party, I read through some old journal entries and notes from when I was pregnant.  I read through all the lists I made while researching registry items and notes I made to myself.  I smiled because I'm actually glad I did all that I did and as of now, I don't regret the time I spent deciding on things for Tera.  I did have to laugh at the list of things I made to bring to the hospital because many of the items were things to keep us occupied while I was in labor.  These of course never actually got used because my labor was all of 10 minutes before I started pushing.  I never even got to use them afterwards while in the room because we had so many people visiting and we spent the rest of the time in the NICU with Tera. 

But the parts that I'm glad I read were the journal entries I made while home after Tera was born.  So many times I wrote about things I wasn't able to get done and how many times I worried about whether I would ever get things done again.  I of course know now that one, those things just have to be prioritized, and two, I do figure out ways to get things done.  Because it hasn't been all THAT long, I do remember that many of those things were important to me at the time because they were related to increasing my knowledge of DS and becoming more involved in things related to DS.  We finally have our involvement down to a manageable amount that makes us feel balanced and not over-committed. 

One of the reasons why I like journaling so much is because it allows me to go back and relive moments from my past and either appreciate how far I've come or remember why things happen.  I really believe this will be more important than ever in our journey with Tera.  I know that in another year, looking back at what we were going through now will be so helpful in knowing how far Tera will have come.  I know this to be true because I've seen how hard she works and I know my girl and she will never give up trying to get to that next milestone. 

This weekend alone she made pretty good progress with her straw cup, worked really hard on kneeling and playing instead of laying or sitting, and completely amazed Tom and I with her ability to intentionally put items into bowls and pick up the bowls along with stacking the bowls inside of one another.  While this may seem somewhat mundane, when you live in a world of therapies where everything is broken down into small tasks, this was very impressive to us. 

So I will try to continue journaling, along with blogging, because no matter how honest I try to be here, there are some things that I will only say to, well, myself. 

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