Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Growing up is hard to do

For any fans of the show Bones out there, I just finished watching the season finale and it was one crazy intense episode! I can't believe how the season ended and I don't do well with suspense so it's going to be a long, difficult wait until it comes back. 

I don't know that watching something so intense before going to bed was such a good idea, especially considering how on edge I've been the past two days trying to manage the craziness of my home and work life.  There are really just not enough hours in the day, and if there were, I'd probably just be more tired from trying to get more stuff done.

When I was a high school freshman I overheard a senior say she wished there were more hours in the day and I wondered why someone would ever want that.  But that's the great part about being young;  to-do lists are not part of the game.  Now, I have no less than five to-do lists going at any given time and then I have to take time to condense those lists down to fewer lists. 

When I was younger I always wanted to be older.  There was always something more appealing about the next stage in life.  In elementary school I wanted to be in junior high, in junior high I wanted to be in high school, in high school I just wanted to leave for college.  Then I got to college and I wanted to graduate, find a job, and get my own place.  Now that I have a job and my own place, I want to find a way to make time to do all the things that go along with having a job and my own place.  Don't misunderstand, I love my life (most of the time), it's just a vicious cycle.

But last night it occurred to me that growing up, isn't all its cracked up to be.  Sure you get to be in charge and eat whatever you want (not a good thing necessarily), stay up late (again, not necessarily good), and make all your own decisions.  This last one, making decisions, is really not what kids make it out to be.  Not only do you get to make the decisions you want, but you have to make the decisions that you don't want to. 

We had to take our dog to the vet again last night and we really thought they were going to tell us it was the end.  She's been deteriorating slowly and we were really convinced we were going get the news we'd been dreading; that she's in pain.  Instead, the doctor gave us a new medication to try to help alleviate some of her discomfort and hopefully extend her quality of life.  But on the way there, I remembered when my mom had to make that same decision for my childhood dog and I thought to myself, this is one of those times when being an adult absolutely sucks.  When you're a kid, someone else makes those tough decisions, but when you're the adult, you make the call and you have to live with it. 

Yes being an adult has it's perks.  Wine is one of them.  But right now I have to remember that I have to work to support all of my adult decisions and so I'm making the decision to finish watching America's Got Talent to unwind from Bones and prepare myself for the battle that is my next eleven days. 

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