Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day

Wow, where to begin on such a special day.  This has been a big weekend for me.  For starters, I turned 32 yesterday.  Yes 32.  I was pretty much okay with this until my mom kept telling me how she couldn't believe I was turning 32.  I'm actually still okay with it, but I haven't really thought about it much to be honest. 

There are definitely times when my age is more of a conscious thought.  I've never been a person who's worried about what I've accomplished in my life up to a point; I've always been happy with my accomplishments and their timeline  What affects me more is when I think about the time I have left to spend with the people I care about most.  I don't mean that to be morbid by any means, I just tend to think back to when I was in my 20's and it seemed like I was just starting my life.  While I'm still only in my early 30's I feel like it's that much less time that I have to enjoy things.  But this weekend, all I've focused on is how incredibly lucky I am to have the things and people I do and how I couldn't possibly be bothered by my age when I have so much to show for the 32 years I've been on this planet. 

Which brings me to today.  I've spent almost every Mother's Day I can remember with my mom because we always celebrate my birthday and Mother's Day together.  But this year my sister was graduating and my mom had her final exam to study for and she wanted me to just to be able to relax so I spent Mother's Day at home.  For the past few weeks Tom has been asking me what I wanted to do for my birthday and Mother's Day and I've had no idea. This morning Tom proposed a plan and I agreed and we had a great day. 

While I was enjoying my day as a mom, I spent a lot of time contemplating all the other moms I know.  I have been inspired by so many moms in my life both as family and friends that it can be kind of intimidating to try and live up to.  I also spent more time than usual amazed by the perfection of my daughter.  When she was first born I couldn't believe how many hours I spent just staring at her.  A year later, she's harder to stare at for hours because she never stays still, but I still analyze every little detail of her when I can.  I fall more in love with her every day and at the same time, more and more in love with the man that created her with me.  The way that Tera's face absolutely lights up EVERY time she sees her dad makes me absolutely melt and I couldnt' ask for a better, more perfect, weirder little family than the one I have. 

Motherhood has been a lot of things: amazing, joyous, stressful, painful, teary, tiring, emotional, perfection, imperfection, exhilarating, heart-wrenching, and the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.  Some of it I was prepared for, some of it I wasn't.  I do know that Tom and I are ultimately the first and last people to decide things for Tera, at least for right now, but it's reassuring to know that one, we are doing it together, and two, we have a lot of other moms (and dads) that we can depend on to help us through it all. 

I had a lot more thoughts going through my head today that I wanted to include, but I can't seem to put them all together tonight.  I hope this reaches all the moms that I want it to, I hope you all know who you are. 

But before I call it a night, I have to send one very, very Happy Mother's Day to the what I can only describe as the best mom in the world.  An amazing supporter, the person who's been there for me since the second I entered the world, and my hero.  Happy Mother's Day to my mom, I love you more than I can ever say. 

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