Monday, June 11, 2012

Fifteen years?!?!?!

There's a movie called Playing by Heart and it's one of my favorites.  It's about new love, old love, loss, and family.  Love, loss, and family are all things that seem very familiar to me, especially lately.  The movie reminds me about how exciting new love can be and how completely amazing "old" love can be.  When Tom and I first started dating, I looked forward to every date, waited impatiently for every phone call, hated saying goodbye, and dreamt about our future.  Tomorrow we will have been married for eight years and on Wednesday we will have been together for fifteen years.  We have been through some incredibly difficult things in those fifteen years, but through it all he has been my best friend, my rock, my laughter, and most recently, the most amazing dad to our little girl.  And after fifteen years, I still look forward to our dates, still love seeing his number come up on my phone, still hate saying goodbye, and still dream about our future.  While new love is always exciting, the love we've developed over these years has made me happier than I could have ever imagined and for the next few days we'll leave our little monster with my in laws and celebrate having survived it all and hopefully get a few days of rest and relaxation to try and recover from it. 

I think the loss part of the movie is pretty evident by the emptiness I still feel in our house.  I can now look at her things and not cry though so it's getting better.  Unfortunately, the loss in the movie is more of the human kind which is also very prevalent in my thoughts right now because of the losses in my friends' families. 

And then there's family.  Where do I even begin? Mine includes all my friends as well and this family of mine came together yesterday to show how they could raise over $8000 for an organization that has meant so much to us.  I think I've said thank you hundreds of times already but it still doesn't feel like enough.  All the different ways that our family, and their families, and their friends were able to support us was nothing short of miraculous.  And one little person inspired it all.  Tera.  That's not to say that many of our team members and donors didn't have someone else in their life that they may have been thinking about, but our $8000 was all in her name and I just couldn't be more amazed at that fact.  I am of course completely biased (I've heard motherhood can do that), but she makes me smile every single day.  Even when I'm so frustrated at her for flinging all her food off her tray, she will inevitably smile at me and it takes everything in my power to remain serious and not smile back at her.  Sometimes I fail at this.  I'm not sure what about her inspires other people, because really, she's only one, but I know that for me it's her energy, her love, her excitement, her willpower, her strength, her laughter, her sweetness, and even her tears. 

I will make sure to reflect on those things about her that inspire me while she stays with Tom's parents and we eat out, sit by the pool, and sleep. 

No comments:

Post a Comment