Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Good news and bad news

One might have thought that since I'm off work I'd be a blogging maniac, but alas, I've actually been catching up on projects and visiting that I didn't have time for while I was working.  But here I am!

In the past several days we've had some very good news and some very bad news and it's one of those times that make you reflect so much more on the things in life. 

The bad news was that two different very good friends of ours lost someone close to them.  Having experienced loss several times myself, I very clearly remember how much the pain can seem overwhelming and difficult to handle.  There's really nothing anyone can say to help alleviate that pain and as a friend, you want nothing more than to take it away and tell them it will eventually be ok.  I remember when I lost my grandpas and my uncle that I thought the pain would never go away.  It felt at the time that there was no way I wouldn't always feel that loss so deeply as I did at the time.  As the months passed it gradually improved and while I've never stopped missing them, the pain isn't there as much.  I will say, the times that it has hurt the most even now, have been when I realized they aren't here to meet and know Tera.  I know all three of them would have absolutely adored her.  I've grown to realize over the years that I do not believe in any particular religion, but I do have enough spirituality to believe that each one of them has been with her every step of the way since she's been born. 

The good news was that Tom's cousin and her husband were finally given the chance to be the phenomenal parents we all know they will be.  They have been waiting to adopt a baby for way too long and we found out this past Friday that they are in fact new parents to a beautiful baby boy and they are all home and a family.  They have been waiting since before Tera was born and I don't know that I could have understood the excitement and love they must be feeling now, before I was a parent myself.  I've been wishing this for them since we found out they had chosen adoption, but until I had Tera I didn't understand what this would actually mean for them. 

People will say that their life wasn't complete until they had a child; that's not true of us.  Tom and I had a very complete life when it was just the two of us; we had fun, we enjoyed our time together, we sometimes spent money recklessly, we went out whenever we wanted, we stayed up late, and enjoyed the freedom our life allowed us without any children.  We had always made a conscious decision to not have a child until we were both ready and when we knew the time was right, I got pregnant.  I can't honestly say I didn't know happiness until Tera; I did.  With the addition of Tera to our family, I experience a new kind of happiness and completeness; that of a family of three instead of two. 

I cherish my new life and my new family.  I don't look back and I don't regret anything.  If there's one thing that death and tragedies tend to teach us it's to enjoy life and to appreciate what you have.  I hope that my friends and their families find peace and can enjoy the memories that they have.

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