Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Day 9 (a little late) and 10

So I promise I have a very good reason for not posting last night although I must admit, I'm still upset that I couldn't.  I swear the nerves in my body have it out for me.  A few years ago I reached across a table and a nerve in my lower back didn't like it and decided that my body shouldn't be allowed to move through any normal range of motion for around six weeks.  Since then, the slightest things can set it off in very unpleasant ways.  Then a few weeks ago I was driving to work and a nerve in my shoulder decided it would also like to have some fun and sent shooting pains down my side and made it very painful to take deep breaths.  Miraculously, by the time I got to work, it had disappeared.  Until yesterday.  Throughout the day I felt little twinges in my shoulder and my neck, but they never lasted too long.  After work I had to go to Costco and as I walked through the store the pain came back and was getting worse and worse.

By the time I got back to my car to go home, I was in pretty serious pain.  Shockwaves would go from my shoulder down my side making my arm tingle and feel numb and also cause intense spasms every time I would take a breath.  At one point there was an ambulance behind me, no lights flashing or anything, and I considered (half joking with myself) pulling over and seeing if they could figure out what was wrong.  But I made it home only to realize how much pain I was really in.  I made it into the house and kind of burst into tears trying to explain to Tom what was wrong.  I could barely even say hi to Tera who was now kind of freaked out by me.  He got me to lay on the floor and I had him call my chiropractor, who was gone for the day, in hopes of getting some sort of advice, but no luck.

After a few more minutes of agony and realizing that the pain was moving into my chest and literally making my heart hurt, I agreed to going to the ER.

This was one of those times that I was reminded of the fact that we have amazing friends.  Tom called our friends (and the parents of one of Tera's BFF's) and asked them if we could drop Tera off with them and without hesitation they took her.

From there it was basically four hours of testing to rule out anything more sinister, like a blood clot or heart situation, and a lot of me waiting in an uncomfortable bed, writhing in pain until the tests came back that I wasn't pregnant and they could prescribe something for me (unfortunately it was nothing more than an anti-inflammatory).  So several blood tests, a urine test, a chest x-ray, a CT scan, and an EKG later, nothing more is wrong with me than the pinched nerve I initially assumed it was.

But what was going through my mind during all of this was, one, I couldn't see my girl.  I had seen her for only a few minutes when I came home and she was so confused and upset by what was going on with me that when Tom left for a minute to pull out the car, she burst into tears just looking at me.  And, to make matters worse, I couldn't put her to bed myself.  I was stuck in a stupid hospital room and in pain, instead of rocking her to sleep like I do almost every other night in her own room.  Was I worried about her? Absolutely not.  We have some truly wonderful friends that Tera is very comfortable with and she was more than fine with them.  It was the fact that I was missing out on our routine (on the plus side, Tera did get to have her first sleepover with a friend, though not under the most ideal circumstances)

Only a couple days old with a feeding tube, heart monitors, an IV,
and pulse/oxygen monitor
The second thing that hit home with me, is that most of what I had done yesterday I had never had in my 32 years of life, but in Tera's 19 months, she has; multiple times.  She's had probably six EKG's at the cardiologist's office (not to mention the one they had to do only a few hours after she was born) and three chest x-rays (one each for her bouts with pneumonia and one other one to make sure the first time had cleared up).  She had so much blood drawn during her first seven days of life that her little feet looked like pin cushions and I don't even know how many times she's had blood drawn since then for thyroid testing and once she had an insane amount drawn for some auto-immune testing.  She is so incredibly tough and resilient and I'm so proud of how well she handles it, and so incredibly sad that she has to.  But this is the "typical" life of a child with DS.  Some other kids with DS don't have as many problems, but most have so many more and all I can do is be thankful that it's not worse for her and know that she'll get through it all.

Tera with pneumonia in both lungs and probably 20 or so hours into her 24 hour  hospital stay
Hopefully I can still say that I successfully completed my 31 for 21 at the end of all this, though maybe I should do a double post one day just to make up for it.  I feel like if she can go through all that medical crap and therapy practice, the least I can do is write about it for a month.

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