These next few weeks are going to be hard to get posts in, but I’m determined to use this for part of the reason I intended: therapeutic purposes and sharing memories.
Being a parent is hard. No matter what your child is like, every parent has their struggles and in these past 21 months I've learned that I will be able to overcome the struggles, but that it takes time, patience, and some reminders of why I love this most difficult of roles. After nearly three weeks of pneumonia Tera has returned to her smiley, silly self and we couldn't be happier. This past Sunday was unseasonably warm with temperatures near 70 degrees for the first weekend in December and so Tom suggested we take Tera to the park and see if her BFF wanted to meet up with us. This was the first time we've taken her to the park since she’s been able to walk and I can’t believe how much fun she had and how amazing it was to watch her be a little kid. She ran all over the place, climbed up the steps, went down the slides, swung on the swings, and played with her friend.
That afternoon after a rough wake up from her nap, we decided to try another park near our house and she did even better. This park was even more suitable to her age and abilities and all her playing was exactly what they want her to be doing as therapy strategies. She even managed to climb UP the slide completely unassisted and completely amazed her dad and I. The fresh air and time as a family was something we all needed and gave us a break from all stress of her being sick and just the craziness of our daily lives. It was true happiness watching her be so “normal”.
Unfortunately these past few nights have thrown us into the depths of sleep deprivation as she spent Sunday night and Monday waking up more than four times during the night. Tuesday night she only woke up once or twice, but then was completely awake at 4:30 this morning.
To make matters worse, I feel like I might be coming down with something, but that could just be allergies and sheer exhaustion from the past few nights. And see here is where the other difficulty in parenting lies; developing a thick skin. Yesterday I spent most of the day feeling crappy and instead of working out like I had planned, just came home and got some stuff done around the house. When Tom came home with Tera, I just wanted to get a kiss and a smile from my baby, but she was having none of it, only wanted to be held by her dad, and kept trying to hit me when I asked for a kiss. Really kid? She was completely cranky for the next hour, to the point of having to cut her PT session short, ate some dinner and was finally a little better after that (I did eventually get a few kisses).
Don’t get me wrong, I know she’s only one, but it’s still not easy to feel better when your own child would rather hit you, than kiss you and you clearly have no way of reasoning with her. This would be one of those times I need to tell myself to suck it up buttercup and just move on.
She did have a much better evening tonight and while rocking her she laid her head right on my chest as she drifted off to sleep and I once again fell head over heels in love with her. And as much as I love her, I'm really hoping I don't see that sweet face again until 6:00 tomorrow morning.
|We were trying desperately to get a picture to use for our Christmas card and she was her usual active self.|