Friday, September 27, 2013

Relaxing? Hmmm...

Taking time for myself is not something I'm good at. Well, let me rephrase.  Taking time to for myself to relax is not something I'm good at.  Most of the time if I'm by myself, I'm wondering what I could be getting done at that moment.  See, my life seems to consist of a string of guilty moments.  If I'm doing something productive, I feel guilty about not working out or spending more time with Tera and/or Tom.  If I'm working out, I'm worried about all the things at home that aren't getting done.  When I'm spending time with Tom and Tera I don't feel guilty, but I do wonder when I'm going to get the other stuff done.  This vicious circle is how most of my life goes.  And then there's the times when I'm trying to relax and I feel guilty for not doing all of the previously mentioned things.

Right now is a perfect example.  I should start grading tests because they have to get done at some point and Tom is playing hockey and Tera is sleeping (mostly).  But instead I painted my nails and now I'm writing this post.  I should also try and get to bed so I get an actual full night's sleep.  But if I go to bed now, I'll regret not getting some more things done tonight.

I never feel like there's a good balance between work, my family, and myself.  I know for the sake of my husband and my daughter I should take the time to de-stress, but it's not as easy as it should be, and I know I'm not the only one out there who feels like this.

Next week October starts and with it, my challenge to blog every day for Down Syndrome Awareness Month.  I'll admit, I'm already wondering how I'll find the time when I've brought grading home with me most nights so far this school year.  But it's something that's important to me and part of the reason I started this blog was to be able to get my thoughts out.  I'm still not entirely sure how I'm going to pull this all off, but I'm determined to be a good teacher, a good blogger, a good wife, a good mom, and somehow maintain my sanity.

With the arrival of October comes one of my favorite months and times of the year and also my fall bucket list.  I want to be able to enjoy this season so I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with all of this without losing my mind.  My plan so far includes comfy Sundays with candles lit and time at home with my baby and my husband.  At least one trip to an apple orchard and/or pumpkin farm.  Family pictures, beautiful changing colors, time with my nieces, and maybe a bath or two on the weekends with some time to myself and a good book.

Here's to a good night's sleep, a great weekend, and 31 days of blogging starting next Tuesday!

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