Here's why our marriage seems to work (I think). First of all, my husband deserves a lot of credit. It cannot be easy being married to me. I'm not high maintenance, or demanding, or whiny (in my opinion), but I'm a bit of a nut job. I lose my shit regularly and he has become a professional at dealing with my fallout. He is always there to reassure me that life will go on if the floors aren't vacuumed (I'm still not convinced) and always ready to take on one of the items on my never-ending to-do list to help me out. This morning was a perfect example. I won't go into details, but I was overwhelmed. Again. We talked through it, took Tera to get her pictures taken, got coffee, went to Target and bought things we didn't need, and came home to deal with the rest of our day.
Enter the ants. And the rest of my example of why we're still married after having been married for nine years and together for fifteen years. Typically only one of us loses it at a time. I had my time this morning, and this afternoon as the killing of the bugs seemed a futile endeavor, I calmly stepped in and got us an appointment for someone new. That's not to say I didn't want to scream a little every time I walked into my bathroom and looked in the shower to see the equivalent of some kind of B-movie horror flick, but I didn't. I calmly turned the water as hot as it would go and took pleasure in burning them down the drain.
When we were in high school I remember quite vividly getting a call from Tom's mom asking me to come over. He had dropped his car off for some work and when he got it back he realized a part of his pride and joy stereo system was missing. He had already kicked a dent in his car and nobody could calm him down. I don't even remember what I said to him, but for whatever reason, I was what worked. And today, while I sometimes feel like that skill may have worn off, I realize it's really more that our problems are more serious now than they were back then and so for both of us, a reality check can be a little more difficult than it used to be.
The nice part is that when I'm talking to him and reminding him that we've been through worse, and that we'll get through this too, and at least Tera isn't sick, that it's helping to remind me of those same things. It's easy to lose sight of the fact that we've dealt with things like this before and we're still standing. We might have a few more battle wounds now, but we're still alive, still together, and still relatively intact.
I'm writing this post outside on a beautiful fall afternoon. My favorite time of the year. I don't want to regret not having enjoyed this time despite the chaos that is going on in my house just a few feet from where I sit. I plan on trying to make cookies with Tera this afternoon, I'm not going to do the work that I brought home with me because I have bigger problems to contend with. Tonight we'll have leftovers from an amazing dinner that Tom made on Saturday, maybe have a fire, and then go to bed and deal with the rest of the week tomorrow.
I may not be so calm in my dealings later, but for right now my head is in a good place. I wish I had more opportunities to do this, but I will enjoy this one and for once, try not to think about the thousand other things I normally do. Except that I think I will have to go inside for that because this beautiful fall day is making my hands and feet cold.