Monday, October 7, 2013

Day 7 of Down Syndrome Awareness Month!

Whenever the topic of Tera's diagnosis at birth comes up, I say the same thing;  I wouldn't change not knowing before she was born.  I know that the unknown would have made me crazy and would have resulted in a very stressful pregnancy and it wouldn't have changed anything about her.

When I was pregnant I did all the research and tried to pick out the most responsible items for our registry.  I didn't pick anything outrageous, I didn't go over the top in the number of things we picked, and I tried to borrow things when possible.  I also tried not to open certain things until I was sure we were going to use them and I returned them if we didn't and bought other things we did (like diapers).  Our crib was $100 and it easily converts to a toddler bed (as we found out on Saturday) and was highly rated for safety and quality. We bought a $200 car seat, but a $15 monitor.  I'm still happy with both.

The reason I mention all this is because we were at Babies R Us on Saturday trying to find a rail for Tera's bed and I felt so nostalgic for all that stuff.  As we walked around I thought back on my numerous trips there to add things to our registry and the excitement at receiving all the beautiful new things.

I have read numerous posts in my DS groups from expecting moms of babies with DS who are wondering what they should register for.  Most of the time the other moms tell them to pick out all of the same things they would for any baby, and to enjoy it and I would probably say the same thing.  There aren't many things I can think of that I bought or received before Tera was born, that changed because of her diagnosis.  I think we exchanged some bottles because she needed the slow flow type, but I'm pretty sure many parents make changes to their bottle choice for many reasons.  We bought some extra burp cloths because she leaked everywhere when she drank a bottle, but so do other kids.  We had to buy some actual infant clothes because we never thought she would be only 6 lbs and we certainly didn't anticipate the slow growth, but it just made clothes last longer on her.

One of the hardest parts of a DS diagnosis, is letting go of some (not all) of the preconceived ideas about how life would be.  I don't think that changes for the parents who find out during pregnancy compared to those who find out at birth.  And I don't necessarily think that one is any easier than the other.  What I do know is that had I known before Tera was born, I would have overwhelmed myself with the "what-ifs" and I can't imagine I would have ever thought about how great our lives would still be.  There was no way to predict how determined she would be, or that she would walk only a few months behind schedule.  I wouldn't have thought she would change so many lives, be so incredibly inspirational, and that I could ever feel as proud as I do of her.  She is amazing; and despite the fact that most parents feel that way about their kids, I don't know that I would have believed how amazing she would be, if someone had told me she would have DS.  But here is she is, amazing me in new ways every day.


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