Each year Tom and I try and set a limit on what we should spend on each other and this year we decided it shouldn't be much. Tom already had an idea in mind and he said it wasn't going to cost much so I knew it was going to be something meaningful. He has this knack for outdoing me almost every Christmas, usually by finding something extraordinarily sentimental and thoughtful and this year did not disappoint.
When I decided to try this little blogging adventure Tom was worried that I was once again taking on something else that I would feel compelled to do even when I didn't have time and that it would become something else that would stress me out instead of being something I enjoyed. I promised him that since it was all mine, I would only do it when I had time or when I really wanted to. And except for the month of October for the past three years when I've tried to do the 31 for 21 Challenge, I have kept my promise.
I think he was still a little skeptical at the beginning, but as more people commented on how much they enjoyed reading it, he began to realize that it was pretty important to me and that other people were actually following me and telling me how much they looked forward to my posts. And so for my gift this year, he put together all my posts from the first year of my blog, along with pictures, and made it into a book. The book was amazing, but he of course had to go one step further and write an incredibly sweet and tear-jerking message in the front that means almost as much to me as the whole book does. I still haven't even had time to sit down and read through it all, but I know that reading those early posts will be both comical and emotional. Those were the early days of Tera's diagnosis and I was still coping (am still coping sometimes) and trying to figure out how our life was going to unfold now that we had this new element to deal with.
I hope that when I can finally finish going through it I can remember some of things I was trying to learn along the way. I still struggle with being able to let things go although some life events have helped push me along the right path recently. I don't take enough time for myself, I don't allow myself the luxury of relaxing enough, and I still worry about things that aren't always important. The holidays are usually a perfect example, but I have to say with a few exceptions, I didn't do nearly as much as I have in the past and again, with a few exceptions, I was okay with it.
I still have over a week left of my winter break and though I did work around the house today, Tom and I were able to work out together, get coffee together, and do some shopping together that we don't often get to do (we dropped Tera off at daycare). And so my focus for the remainder of my break is to do what I want, enjoy my time off, still get some things done, and try and regain my perspective. I'm not really one for New Year's resolutions, but I'm perfectly fine with a little reflection on what has worked and what hasn't and using that to recenter myself so that I can be a better wife, mom, teacher, and just a better me. One that I can enjoy.